Oh, little blog, I SO BADLY want to tell you things. Very funny, ridiculous things! All about the mess I find myself in - a mess that would make for phenomenal television...possibly a whole season of it!!!
But alas...I can't. Because unfortunately you are on the Internet, and thereby accessible by all the wrong people.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A moment of stupidity
So, have you ever read those articles or seen those news reports where there was a tragic fire that started accidentally? And did you ever think "What kind of idiot goes to sleep with candles burning?" or "How in the world do you forget that you are cooking something?"
I myself will never again ask those questions when I hear reports of fires. Because I now completely understand that I am equally as capable of such moments of stupidity. Like yesterday, when I decided to cook a quesadilla and turned the stove on to heat the pan...and then answered my phone. And then walked away from the kitchen. And then headed downstairs to look something up online while on the phone.
And then headed upstairs only to find my house full of smoke.
Oh, I feel like a big stupid idiot.
But at least I was lucky...no damage, no harm done.
Except to my ego.
I myself will never again ask those questions when I hear reports of fires. Because I now completely understand that I am equally as capable of such moments of stupidity. Like yesterday, when I decided to cook a quesadilla and turned the stove on to heat the pan...and then answered my phone. And then walked away from the kitchen. And then headed downstairs to look something up online while on the phone.
And then headed upstairs only to find my house full of smoke.
Oh, I feel like a big stupid idiot.
But at least I was lucky...no damage, no harm done.
Except to my ego.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Choice Phrase
I have problems with my everyday speech. i'm becoming that girl with a catch phrase. Oh...that girl irritates the heck out of me. Like Paris Hilton and "That's hot." I hate girls with catch phrases.
And now I'm one of them. And my catch phrase is really lame, to boot.
"Stellar."
As in, "That was NOT so stellar."
or, "Thats pretty stellar."
or, "Not a stellar moment."
I would have to say that I use the word 'stellar' in some form at least several times daily.
Its a problem. I need to quit. I'll take any suggestions for its replacement.
And now I'm one of them. And my catch phrase is really lame, to boot.
"Stellar."
As in, "That was NOT so stellar."
or, "Thats pretty stellar."
or, "Not a stellar moment."
I would have to say that I use the word 'stellar' in some form at least several times daily.
Its a problem. I need to quit. I'll take any suggestions for its replacement.
Monday, September 15, 2008
More fantastic Men Moments
Wow...my Saturday turned out to be a stellar night when it comes to the world of men. And I mean that with a great deal of sarcasm.
So, it started off good - I was enjoying good company out at a local house of brew, watching some good college football (specifically, watching OSU get hammered - which is very much to my liking), and having a drink or 2. It was a laid back, casual place where my friend and I could get out of the rain, be unbothered and just have a laid back evening without too much excitement besides watching the game.
It got even better for awhile, as I apparently impressed a couple of studly tennis pros with my breadth of knowledge on the topics of football and beer. Apparently men enjoy these two topics. So, they turn out to be very nice, respectable young men, and my friend and I enjoy their conversation and the conversations of a few others there that night. It turns out to be a nice, casual, fun evening.
And then it gets weird. As it always does when men are around, because someone always manages to make a fool of themselves on behalf of their gender.
One of the men sitting down the bar from us staggers over. Puts his hands on my back (and the back of my friend) and manages to semi-coherently deliver this line:
"You have beautiful teeth."
Followed by some continued ramblings about the specifics of my beautiful teeth.
Really? And what exactly am I supposed to do with that? I mean - how would YOU respond?
And then it got better for the guys. And this time it was the bartender's fault. Because he decided to walk over and tell me:
"We're having a wet t-shirt contest and you are up first."
Ummm....check please!
So much for my nice, laid back evening!
So, it started off good - I was enjoying good company out at a local house of brew, watching some good college football (specifically, watching OSU get hammered - which is very much to my liking), and having a drink or 2. It was a laid back, casual place where my friend and I could get out of the rain, be unbothered and just have a laid back evening without too much excitement besides watching the game.
It got even better for awhile, as I apparently impressed a couple of studly tennis pros with my breadth of knowledge on the topics of football and beer. Apparently men enjoy these two topics. So, they turn out to be very nice, respectable young men, and my friend and I enjoy their conversation and the conversations of a few others there that night. It turns out to be a nice, casual, fun evening.
And then it gets weird. As it always does when men are around, because someone always manages to make a fool of themselves on behalf of their gender.
One of the men sitting down the bar from us staggers over. Puts his hands on my back (and the back of my friend) and manages to semi-coherently deliver this line:
"You have beautiful teeth."
Followed by some continued ramblings about the specifics of my beautiful teeth.
Really? And what exactly am I supposed to do with that? I mean - how would YOU respond?
And then it got better for the guys. And this time it was the bartender's fault. Because he decided to walk over and tell me:
"We're having a wet t-shirt contest and you are up first."
Ummm....check please!
So much for my nice, laid back evening!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Quote of the Day
So, three and four year-olds provide endless entertainment as soon as they open their mouths. And when you factor in a delay in language development...even more entertaining.
Today, like everyday, was full of great moments. But this one had to be the highlight. And don't ask me to explain it. I'm as confused as you.
Student: "And when I go potty or poopy I can have a bubble. Yup."
And no...we weren't talking about using the bathroom. Or bubbles. All I did was ask what the weather was today. Silly me for trying to do calendar time.
Today, like everyday, was full of great moments. But this one had to be the highlight. And don't ask me to explain it. I'm as confused as you.
Student: "And when I go potty or poopy I can have a bubble. Yup."
And no...we weren't talking about using the bathroom. Or bubbles. All I did was ask what the weather was today. Silly me for trying to do calendar time.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Yummy...
So, I have food issues. No, not any food allergies, or digestive troubles or anything like that. I just have weird issues with food that you might call being picky. Very picky.
You wouldn't know it upon first meeting me. In fact, I can successfully avoid revealing my weird food issues for a long time. Even when I go out to eat with people. See...there are plenty of food that I like. In fact, I LOVE food. A lot. I love food so much that over the past few years I've had to work out pretty hard to burn off all of that food that i love so much.
But anyways...back to my weird picky-ness. Here is a sampling of my issues with food:
I don't like meat and cheese together. Only exceptions: pizza (although i prefer just plain cheese...or cheese and pineapple...no ham) and tacos or quesadillas or similar 'Mexican' fare. Sure, I'll sprinkle a little cheese on a salad along with some chicken, but in general, meat and cheese together makes me gag. Literally. When I was little, my mom found that out the hard way when she made me eat a ham and cheese-melt. I promptly threw it all up right there on the table. I never had cheese on sandwiches for school. I would either have lunch meat on bread (no mayo or anything else) or a cheese bun. Yup, just slices of cheese on a bun. I'm weird like that. I guess its a texture thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure the first time I actually had a cheeseburger was after I was out of college. Unless you count the fast food cheeseburgers I got as a kid and made my mom scrape off all of the cheese and other toppings.
So another texture issue: Apple Pie. I LOVE pie crusts. I like apples. I like warm apple sauce, I like baked apples. But I hate apple pie. My whole family thinks I'm weird. In fact, apple pie is pretty much an all-around family favorite. But me - i hate it. When my mom made apple pie or apple crisp, I'd take my piece a la mode...minus the pie. Yup, just plain vanilla ice cream for me!
Ready for another weird one? I like Wendy's hamburgers the best out of any fastfood burger. Why? Because they are square. Yup. That really is the reason. For some reason, I think a square hamburger tastes better.
I could go on for ages with my odd food preferences. But by now, you may be wondering why in the world this even came up. Well, my friends, this weekend I had a food breakthrough. At the age of 26, I finally tasted a pickle for the first time in my life. Yes, you read that right.
And yes, people seem to find that very amusing. And odd.
But its true. In the first 26 years of my life, I had never had a pickle. In fact, I had myself convinced that I would HATE pickles. So much so that as a kid, when i got a hamburger Happy Meal, I made my mom take off the pickles. I wouldn't even do it myself because I didn't want to touch them.
So, what was the verdict on pickles? Umm...they're kinda good. I think I've been missing out all these years.
I guess maybe one of these days I'll have to give apple pie another shot...
You wouldn't know it upon first meeting me. In fact, I can successfully avoid revealing my weird food issues for a long time. Even when I go out to eat with people. See...there are plenty of food that I like. In fact, I LOVE food. A lot. I love food so much that over the past few years I've had to work out pretty hard to burn off all of that food that i love so much.
But anyways...back to my weird picky-ness. Here is a sampling of my issues with food:
I don't like meat and cheese together. Only exceptions: pizza (although i prefer just plain cheese...or cheese and pineapple...no ham) and tacos or quesadillas or similar 'Mexican' fare. Sure, I'll sprinkle a little cheese on a salad along with some chicken, but in general, meat and cheese together makes me gag. Literally. When I was little, my mom found that out the hard way when she made me eat a ham and cheese-melt. I promptly threw it all up right there on the table. I never had cheese on sandwiches for school. I would either have lunch meat on bread (no mayo or anything else) or a cheese bun. Yup, just slices of cheese on a bun. I'm weird like that. I guess its a texture thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure the first time I actually had a cheeseburger was after I was out of college. Unless you count the fast food cheeseburgers I got as a kid and made my mom scrape off all of the cheese and other toppings.
So another texture issue: Apple Pie. I LOVE pie crusts. I like apples. I like warm apple sauce, I like baked apples. But I hate apple pie. My whole family thinks I'm weird. In fact, apple pie is pretty much an all-around family favorite. But me - i hate it. When my mom made apple pie or apple crisp, I'd take my piece a la mode...minus the pie. Yup, just plain vanilla ice cream for me!
Ready for another weird one? I like Wendy's hamburgers the best out of any fastfood burger. Why? Because they are square. Yup. That really is the reason. For some reason, I think a square hamburger tastes better.
I could go on for ages with my odd food preferences. But by now, you may be wondering why in the world this even came up. Well, my friends, this weekend I had a food breakthrough. At the age of 26, I finally tasted a pickle for the first time in my life. Yes, you read that right.
And yes, people seem to find that very amusing. And odd.
But its true. In the first 26 years of my life, I had never had a pickle. In fact, I had myself convinced that I would HATE pickles. So much so that as a kid, when i got a hamburger Happy Meal, I made my mom take off the pickles. I wouldn't even do it myself because I didn't want to touch them.
So, what was the verdict on pickles? Umm...they're kinda good. I think I've been missing out all these years.
I guess maybe one of these days I'll have to give apple pie another shot...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The One where...oh, who came UP with this stupid idea ANYWAYS!?
I'm BACK, baby!
That's right!! After what I shall call my 'summer vacation' (I am a teacher, after all) I am making my triumphal return. Sound the trumpets...drum roll please...!!!
And...I am starting with some changes. Somewhere along the way I decided that I would title every post beginning with the phrase "The one where..." It was kind of my tribute to the sitcom "Friends," which as you can read here, sort of prompted this blog. But NO MORE. I am spent. I'm done trying to come up with clever ways to title my posts. Sorry if this disappoints you.
But too bad. Just call me a jerk.
So, just what story is worthy of my grand re-entrance into the blogging world? Is it the cup-full of crayon mush that I had to dig out of my students mouth today? Or the hairdryer that exploded for no apparent reason? No...these are good, but not quite worthy.
How about my love life? Oh...that is CERTAINLY worthy of a post as a reality sitcom if ever I heard of one. There are dates that I didn't realize were dates, secret crushes on friends of guys who take me on dates (that I don't realize are dates), ridiculous scenarios in which I invite 2 guys that I am going on dates with to the same social gathering (awkward...to say the least), random tattooed man at a bar licking my ear (its a long, rather disgusting story), and quiet evenings wondering how it is that with all of the men-drama that has gone on over the last year, here I am on the computer with 2 irritating cats for company. Oh, my love life certainly has all the fixings for a long blog post...but not today my friends. Quite frankly, there is enough material there for an entire season of television. But those stories shall have to wait for another time.
No, the story for today is much shorter. Much sweeter. And quite frankly, folks...its dowright sentimental. Its time you find out - I may be a sarcastic smart-ass most of the time, but I sure can be a big 'ol softy too. So here it is, without further ado...a glimpse into what completely melts my heart:
School started yesterday. And at 1:15 pm, when my afternoon class (which is mostly made up of returning students from last year) arrived on their busses, I quickly found myself on my back in the grass in front of school. Because they mauled me. With hugs. And a kiss or two. And lots of screaming and talking over one another to tell me everything that happened over the summer. And lots of love.
Melts my heart.
Dangit. I'm such a big softy.
Oh, well. Welcome back anyways.
That's right!! After what I shall call my 'summer vacation' (I am a teacher, after all) I am making my triumphal return. Sound the trumpets...drum roll please...!!!
And...I am starting with some changes. Somewhere along the way I decided that I would title every post beginning with the phrase "The one where..." It was kind of my tribute to the sitcom "Friends," which as you can read here, sort of prompted this blog. But NO MORE. I am spent. I'm done trying to come up with clever ways to title my posts. Sorry if this disappoints you.
But too bad. Just call me a jerk.
So, just what story is worthy of my grand re-entrance into the blogging world? Is it the cup-full of crayon mush that I had to dig out of my students mouth today? Or the hairdryer that exploded for no apparent reason? No...these are good, but not quite worthy.
How about my love life? Oh...that is CERTAINLY worthy of a post as a reality sitcom if ever I heard of one. There are dates that I didn't realize were dates, secret crushes on friends of guys who take me on dates (that I don't realize are dates), ridiculous scenarios in which I invite 2 guys that I am going on dates with to the same social gathering (awkward...to say the least), random tattooed man at a bar licking my ear (its a long, rather disgusting story), and quiet evenings wondering how it is that with all of the men-drama that has gone on over the last year, here I am on the computer with 2 irritating cats for company. Oh, my love life certainly has all the fixings for a long blog post...but not today my friends. Quite frankly, there is enough material there for an entire season of television. But those stories shall have to wait for another time.
No, the story for today is much shorter. Much sweeter. And quite frankly, folks...its dowright sentimental. Its time you find out - I may be a sarcastic smart-ass most of the time, but I sure can be a big 'ol softy too. So here it is, without further ado...a glimpse into what completely melts my heart:
School started yesterday. And at 1:15 pm, when my afternoon class (which is mostly made up of returning students from last year) arrived on their busses, I quickly found myself on my back in the grass in front of school. Because they mauled me. With hugs. And a kiss or two. And lots of screaming and talking over one another to tell me everything that happened over the summer. And lots of love.
Melts my heart.
Dangit. I'm such a big softy.
Oh, well. Welcome back anyways.
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